Having a Moment
by The Lady Bonny
Summary: Raven said they were having a moment that night on the rocks, and Beast Boy would have agreed. It just took a while longer for them to realize that it wasn't their first or even close to their last.
1. The First Meeting

**A/N:** I've had this idea for a while and since it's over halfway finished, there's really no reason to not just go ahead and start posting it. Originally, it was supposed to be another chapter in _The Green Files_ but then it took a life of its own and before I knew it, I had about twenty-two oneshots centering on Beast Boy and Raven and their interaction—all those "moments"—during the animated series and my ideas of what could have happened beyond it. They're all pretty short, told in second person (which means you should get ready of run-on sentences and the like), and alternate between the pair's point of view.

So. Anyone confused yet? Probably, so we'll start off easy: This one takes place during _Go!_ and this chapter is told from Beast Boy's point of view. The next chapter is Raven's. Happy reading!

_This is the start of something good.  
Don't you agree?_  
– Gavin DeGraw "Follow Through"

* * *

**The First Meeting  
**

Yesterday was weird.

Not in a bad way, though, you decide as the group of you—Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, Raven, and you, Beast Boy—watch the sunrise from the little island's beach. You didn't start today expecting to walk into a new city, run into a group of teenagers who don't seem bothered by your green-ness, fight off a bunch of evil alien guys, and somehow, in the middle of it all, make friends as well.

At least, you think you're all friends. Everyone's acting like it and no one looks like they're about to leave (or worse—ask _you_ to leave). Instead, everyone is looking at each other and smiling happily, and it's a nice feeling because you know that everyone is smiling about the same thing. You want everyone to be friends. It's been a while since you've had any of those.

They all look like they could use some friends, too.

So, yesterday was weird in a _good_ way. You met Cyborg, who is fun and awesome, when he's not worrying about how he looks; and Starfire, who is really sweet and totally not intimidating when you actually talk to her; and Raven, who is…well, you don't know because you can't recall ever meeting anyone like her but she's really quiet and kind of weird, but in a way that makes you want to know her—and you really like all of them.

And you worked with Robin—_the_ Robin—and how cool is that? He's just like you figured he would be—serious and smart and totally in-control of everything. He's pretty nice to you, too, which is kind of unexpected because…well, you're _you_, and he's _Robin_. But he acts like that doesn't matter, like you're just another hero like him and a friend, too, and maybe it wouldn't be that way if he actually knew stuff about the Doom Patrol and what you were on it—but he doesn't, and that's a good thing.

Because now you have the chance to start over and this time, you won't screw stuff up. This time, you'll give everyone a reason to be proud of you, and then there won't be all the anger and bad feelings like with the Doom Patrol. You're not going to have to run away from these people (and maybe if you ever did…maybe they'd love you enough to chase after you).

This time, everything is going to go _right_. You know it will.

"That's quite a view," Raven says, drawing you from your thoughts. She's talking about the bay but you're actually paying more attention to her now. Her voice is sort of deep and slightly gravely, but you like it. It's a nice voice. Raven should talk more so you can hear it more.

Cyborg nods. "Someone should build a house out here."

"Yeah, if you like sunshine and the beach," you say with a smile. You relax a little bit more when you see that no one's going to yell at you for it—Mento was always yelling when you made a joke, like there was something _wrong_ with trying to get people to smile—and because you are so relieved, you nudge Raven.

And then it happens.

She laughs a little and smiles at you—and for a second, all you can do is stare. Her smile is tiny and shy and seems both completely out of place and totally perfect on a girl like Raven. It's beautiful and even though you've never thought of anyone's smile as beautiful before, you think _hers_ definitely is.

"You know, you're kind of funny," she says.

You fall a little in love with her right then and there.


	2. The First Meeting Flip Side

**A/N:** Okay, this one also takes place in during _Go!_ but it's from Raven's point of view. This will be the only time the same moment will be told from both character's perspectives but I felt like they needed to begin from the same place.

_You should know right from the start  
I am not like other girls_  
— S.O.A.P. "Not Like Other Girls"

* * *

**The First Meeting (Flip Side)**

Your first instinct is to get as far as these people as you possibly can.

You are the daughter of reckless runaway Angela Roth—now quiet, dignified Arella who has spoken to you only eleven times in your lifetime and touched you far less than that—and Trigon the Terrible, an evil demon who thrives on death and destruction. It is prophesized that you will be the portal that will allow him to destroy worlds. You are an abomination, and you have been raised to never forget that fact (and you won't, not when people have told you that everyday for as long as you can remember).

You were allowed certain privileges, though you aren't fool enough to think they were given out of the kindness of anyone's heart. You _had_ to be trained to control your emotions. It was the only way you could be allowed to live (though it's not much of a life but it's probably all that you deserve). The monks on Azarath gave you an education that would put most Ivy League students to shame, and you proved to be one of Azar's brightest students. Perhaps you would have even been the next Azar had you not been born a half-demon.

You would be disappointed, if you allowed yourself to feel such things.

There are not many things you do allow yourself to feel.

You're a danger to these teenagers, and really, they are a danger to you as well. They smile at you and are kind to you and did not seem particularly worried when you said that being around you wasn't safe, and because of all that, they make you want things you shouldn't.

Like friends. Family. Acceptance.

You shouldn't be here, and you know it.

So, why aren't you leaving?

That's simple enough.

You don't _want_ to. Not when this is probably what having friends is like (you've never had any so you can't be certain), and it's a…nice feeling.

So, it's almost too easy to convince yourself to stay. You came to this dimension to do good, to make up for your heritage as best you can, and already you have saved lives and maybe even the city. And where else would you go? You don't know anyone here, and these people seem almost as lost and alone as you are. Perhaps, for now, it would be wisest to be with them. They…don't seem so bad, after all.

Except for the little green boy with that horrible purple mask. Beast Boy. You aren't sure he likes you, especially after he made that comment last night (and what will he say when he finds out what you _really_ are, you wonder). But, after Cyborg says that someone should spend a home out on this island, Beast Boy is the one to grin and nudge you and say, "Yeah, if you like sunshine and the beach."

It's a…joke. You think. No one has ever told you one before. No one your age spoke to you on Azarath but here, on earth, they do. These teenagers do, at least, and that is more than good enough for you.

So, for the first time in as long as you can remember, you laugh and smile—and nothing terrible happens. Perhaps it is a sign that things can be different here. _You _can be different here.

"You know, you're kind of funny," you tell him.

His emotions jump from relaxed contentment to absolute elation so quickly it makes you dizzy. "Really? You think I'm funny?" he yelps, and he stares at you in complete awe for just a second—the _tiniest_ of seconds—and then he's spouting off jokes and riddles with such an intensity, you have to lean back and away from him. There's a sinking feeling in your stomach as you come to the conclusion that you have just started something you are going to regret.

It will be a few more years before you discover you are only half right.


	3. The Doctor in the House

**A/N:** Okay, my computer is still messed up so posting and review replies are going to be a little slower coming out than I would like. I'm having to borrow my roommates' laptops for just about everything so I'm at their mercy for a time share. No worries, though—the updates are coming. Just a not as quickly as I would like.

This one takes place during _Final Exam_. That episode has a special place in my heart because it was the first TT episode I ever saw—and it was the one that made me notice Beast Boy and Raven. I saw this scene and thought, _yeah, there's something going on there._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Teen Titans.

_She's perfect in her own way_  
- Jimmy Eat World "Softer"

* * *

**The Doctor in the House**

After six weeks of being a Teen Titan, you figure this out: Raven is _really_ smart.

She knows about everything, from the car stuff Cyborg is always going on about to bits and pieces about Tamaran, Starfire's home planet. She knows so much about criminal justice and due process and a bunch of other legal stuff that Robin is impressed (and you've also figured out that Robin is pretty hard to impress or please, though he's not as bad as Mento was). You think she'd probably even know about all the science-y stuff your parents used to study. Sometimes, you want to ask her but thinking about Mom and Dad still hurts a lot so you don't. You don't like to dwell on or even think about stuff that makes you feel sad.

Which makes right now even harder to deal with.

"That didn't just happen," you say, remembering the jeering expressions on the HIVE members' faces and the sick feeling you had when you looked down into that water and couldn't see Robin anywhere. "Tell me that didn't just happen."

Raven helps you sit down. "It did happen," she reminds you but you can tell she's not trying to be mean about it. "We cannot change the truth, no matter how much we dislike it."

You look at her but don't know what to say to that, so you just rub at the painful slash on your thigh.

Maybe you _should_ say something, though, because another thing you know is that Raven—or Rae, because everyone has started giving each other these nicknames, and you like that a lot because it means you're all becoming closer friends—is feeling just as bad as you do right now. She probably won't admit it, though, just like she never lets on to how lonely she actually is.

But you _know_ she is. You grew up lonely, so you know what it looks like. She just handles it differently than you. You want people's attention. You want to know they like you and want you around. But Raven deals with her loneliness by pushing people even farther away, like she thinks becoming lonelier will cancel out the first loneliness, and then she won't have to worry about feeling alone because she won't feel anything at all.

That's another weird thing about Raven—she's always saying stuff about not being able to feel things without hurting people but she won't explain exactly why. Or maybe she has, and you just don't get it. You aren't that smart (even if you _are_ smarter than you sometimes act) and Robin says you're "oblivious" to a lot of things, which you think means that you don't pay attention, so there's probably some complicated reason Raven acts like a human wall all the time. All you know is that when she gets angry, her powers make things blow up.

You cause her to blow things up. A lot.

It's kind of scary.

But right now, her powers aren't doing anything freaky. Her hands are glowing blue and the cut on your leg, the one that made you move too slowly to help Robin (and you can just see Mento's disappointed face in your head and you can hear him tell you how it's your fault because you never try hard enough or take anything seriously enough), is slowly disappearing. Soon, all you can see is green skin peeking out of the tear in your clothes and your leg doesn't hurt anymore.

"Who knew we had a doctor in the house?" you say and smile, because it's pretty cool that her powers can do something like this. But then, Raven _is_ pretty cool so maybe you shouldn't be surprised. "Thanks."

She nods and for a second, you feel a little bit better about everything—and then Cyborg and Starfire burst in and suddenly you remember you have to tell them about Robin, and it's a hard thing to do because Cy gets angry in the way people do when they're really upset and Star looks like she's about to cry. Then, seconds later, it gets worse because the HIVE members bust in and before you even know what's happened, your team loses the fight _again_ and you're all stuck outside the Tower while the bad guys are in your home.

Now, things look pretty hopeless. Robin is gone and maybe isn't coming back, Starfire is hugging herself and has tears in her eyes, Cyborg is even angrier because his arm is screwed up, and Raven has that blank look on her face (and you _hate_ it when she looks like that because it means she's trying not to care). Everyone just looks so _beaten_ that you can't stand it.

So, you do the only thing you know to do when things are like this—you make a joke.

It doesn't go over well. Cyborg snaps at you, and you get a little angry, too, but before you can yell at him, Raven puts her hand on your shoulder and looks at you—and you stop yelling.

It's a weird moment because she doesn't say anything to you but you actually _get_ what she's not saying—to cool off and that Cyborg isn't really mad at you so you shouldn't get mad at him. The hand on your shoulder tightens for a second before she pulls away and you think this must her way of saying that things are going to be fine somehow.

You believe her.

So, when Robin—healthy and whole and grinning because he surely has a plan—shows up a minute later, you aren't surprised at all.


	4. The Luckiest Girl in the World

**A/N:** This update came out a little more awkwardly than I would have liked. I channel Beast Boy far easier than I do Raven, but I think I got the tone I was looking for. Read and review, please—and check out Judd Winnick's _Titans_ #4 and especially #5. Why? Because it's looking more and more like Beast Boy and Raven are heading toward a relationship. If you like the couple, show some support and pick those two comics up.

This one takes place during _Sisters_. Because, you know, giant chickens equal love.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

_Don't put your trust in walls  
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall_  
– Ray Lamontagne "Be Here Now"

* * *

**The Luckiest Girl in the World**

You have been a Titan for two months and in this amount of time, you've discovered fighting crime is not the most trying part of your job.

Living with Beast Boy is.

He is loud, almost unbearably so. He's immature and ill-mannered. His behavior is as confusing as it is frustrating. He's a hyperactive, dizzying bundle of emotions and energy with obvious comprehension problems because he continues to translate "Go away" as "Feel free to annoy me with more insipid jokes."

And for reasons you cannot fathom, he has attached himself to _you_. You can't imagine what he—or anyone else, for that matter—would find particularly fascinating about you (unless they truly knew who you are but that is more likely to inspire fear rather than curiosity). You cannot think of one interest the two of you share nor can you imagine any common ground which you might have—and yet he _still_ chooses to single you out. You are the one he follows with offerings of jokes, video games, and tofu. You are the one he bothers with questions and invitations. You and you alone, despite your various insults, despite threats of bodily harm and trips to dimensions filled with carnivores creatures.

And for the love of Azar, you cannot figure out _why_.

The others are hardly any help. Starfire thinks he's adorable for caring so much (which he is _not_ and if this is the way he shows affection, you pity any future girlfriends he might have), Cyborg thinks you're too hard on him (which you are not because you truly aren't trying to be cruel as much as you are trying to get him to go away), and Robin thinks this leech-like attachment to you will actually do the little irritant some good (which is so utterly absurd, it's painful to think that someone as intelligent as Robin could think it up).

Perhaps Beast Boy simply finds it amusing to annoy you. It would make sense, given his affinity for jokes and pranks. Or perhaps your first impression was correct and he doesn't like you.

Or perhaps he truly _is_ as starved for affection and attention as his emotions sometimes indicate.

You try not to think of the last possibility as a reality. It makes you uneasy.

Especially when you take the time to notice just how young he is. There's still some innocence left in him, and it will be…sad to see that taken out of him (because nothing gold can truly stay for long in this world, can it?).

But that isn't your problem (even if Beast Boy is going out of his way to _make_ himself your problem). The bottom line is you don't know how to deal with him, how to react to his enthusiasm or his smiles or his infuriating habit of goading emotional responses out of you. It's too much. _He's_ too much, and you can't begin to understand him. You don't _want_ to understand him. You simply wish he would leave you alone.

Somehow, though, you doubt that's going to happen.

It's especially not going to happen right now. Robin has dragged the team out for another so-called bonding session (although you, Cyborg, and Beast Boy have already learned to interpret these "sessions" as attempts on the Boy Wonder's part to impress Starfire). The carnival is noisy and overwhelming with it's brightness and constant motion—much like a certain green changeling of your acquaintance—and you want to leave. Unfortunately you have no chance to do this because Beast Boy's been busying himself by showing you everything, from the many rides (which you've refused to go on) to the booths (that are undoubtedly rigged). Mentioning this, however, only provokes a laugh and declaration that he and Cyborg will beat a game just for you, and he sets about this goal with a single-minded determination that you find faintly disturbing.

And when he finally _does _win something--after several tries and more persistence than you would have thought his attention span allowed--you begin to worry that this is some kind of horrible foreshadowing.

"Told you we'd win you a prize," Beast Boy says with a bordering-on-smug grin before shoving a gigantic plush toy into your arms. He looks so proud of himself, you can't help but feel faintly amused.

You manage cover this with disdain. "A giant chicken," you say with an eye roll. "I must the luckiest girl in the world."

Beast Boy is, of course, oblivious to your sarcasm. He just continues to grin at you in his exasperating way, and for the smallest of moments and only because he's so utterly _absurd_, to continue sharing his smiles with _you_ of all people on this planet (and how many people—ever—have been willing to do that?), you feel the sudden urge to laugh.

Thankfully, it's hardly a second later that Robin appears and the team has to rescue Starfire from some strange space craft with tentacles.

It's a bizzare night, to say the least, but at the end of it, you are able to return to the relative peace of your room.

With your chicken.

In all honestly, you aren't even sure how it managed to get to the Tower but it is in the Common Room upon your return, and after a little hesitation, you take it with you. Beast Boy would whine if you didn't, you reluctantly decide.

But in the privacy of your room where there is no one else to see or hear, you allow yourself the indulgence of a small laugh (it's only your possessions that are endangered here). You are the half-breed daughter of the dreaded Trigon the Terrible—and you now own a giant, plush chicken.

Even you are willing to see the strange humor in this.

"You are both utterly ridiculous," you inform it. The chicken stares back at you with its googly eyes (this was Beast Boy's description, not yours) and you feel a little foolish yourself for talking to an oversized stuffed animal.

Beast Boy is the most exasperating person you have ever encountered but perhaps he isn't so bad. He's…tolerable, you suppose.

Even if you still don't understand him.


	5. The Trip Through the Mirror

**A/N:** Have I really not updated this since '08?

That's rhetorical, obviously, but _damn_. I have plenty of excuses, but I'm sure you're far more interested in reading this update. The next moment will be posted as soon as I work out a few kinks and as long as this inspiration holds. However irregularly I update, I still love TT. Read and review, please?

**Disclaimer:** If it wasn't mine when I started fanfic-ing in '06, then it certainly doesn't belong to me now.

_With my hands open and my eyes open  
I just keep hoping that your heart opens _– Snow Patrol "Hands Open"

* * *

**The Trip Through the Mirror**

So. You and Cyborg are trapped inside Raven's head.

If Robotman was here, you're pretty sure he'd call this an "oh shit" moment.

It's beyond weird in here. There're Forbidden Doors and mazes and these freaky _talking_ birds with red eyes and sharp teeth. Oh, andapparently, Raven's emotions are _alive_. There's a pink one that laughs a lot, a green one that makes you think of a cracked-out Robin, and a gray one you accidentally make cry. She offers to get you and Cyborg through the maze, but promises you won't like her at the end of it.

"He already doesn't like me," she says, and even though she's looking at you, it takes you a second to realize she actually _means_ you.

"Hey, come on. That's not…" But Gray's already moving so you follow, feeling confused and kind of mad.

Because it's not true. You do like Raven.

In fact, you're pretty sure _Raven _doesn't like you.

You know why, though. It's pretty obvious—she says to leave her alone, and you _never_ do, so she spends a lot of time being angry with you. That's why Robin keeps saying to give her space and that she'll come around in her own time.

You get why he'd think that. No matter what everyone says, you _do_ understand the concept of personal space. Not everyone likes to be around people as much as you do, and that's cool. You even understand that Raven deserves time to herself.

Just maybe not as much as she seems to want.

Raven's not going to warm up to anyone on her own—she just wouldn't know _how_, not with the way she likes to stay shut up in her room. You doubt she has any books that'll show her how to let other people be part of her life, and that's exactly what she needs to know. So you try to include her, show her that she's wanted. You tell jokes, and you invite her to do stuff, like play video games or join in conversations with the team or come to movie nights and picnics at the park. Sometimes she agrees, but when she doesn't, you keep asking, and _that's_ when she gets angry.

But she never asks why you try to hang out with her so much, which is a good thing. You're pretty sure she'd only get mad if you said you were just trying to find ways to make her happy. That little smile of hers hasn't come back very often, and it bothers you because there's been plenty of stuff to smile about lately—like having a home and friends (_real_ friends, too, the kind that make you feel safe and loved, even when people are staring at your skin like there's something wrong with you) and helping the city. You're happy, your other friends are happy, and you think Raven deserves to be, too. You _want_ her to be happy.

Only…you're not really sure how to make that happen. What you're doing isn't working (_obviously_, because you're pretty sure you've still got eggs in your ears from where she blew up breakfast) but it's not like Raven's giving you any clues to what _will_ work. She never even looks happy doing the things she says she _wants_ to do, which makes you wonder if she actually is. Sometimes you think she just doesn't know how to be.

Anyway.

The point is you _do_ like her. You wouldn't try all the jokes and invitations and stuff if you didn't. You _definitely_ wouldn't have ended up here because you wouldn't have bothered trying to apologize for the whole breakfast fiasco (even if you still think that wasn't exactly your fault). But trying to work stuff out is what friends do, right?

And…maybe you want to get to know her, too.

You wish she'd let you.

So, you follow the grey-cloaked Raven-clone through the maze (what emotion _is_ this, anyway? Low self-esteem?) and listen to her apologize for a bunch of stuff and hope everything gets better or at least starts making sense soon.

When the real Raven shows up, she isn't happy. Actually, she's royally pissed off (specifically at _you_, which would annoy you because, dude, Cyborg got sucked into Crazy Mirror Land, too, but this is the first normal thing that's happened in hours so it's almost nice to be yelled at), and between the extremely creepy birds, the multi-colored emotions, and arguing with the very person whose mind you're stuck in, you decide this is _the_ _weirdest day ever_, and you just want to go home.

Instead, a gigantic red dude with antlers appears (and _what_ is up with _that_?) and snarls something about rage consuming Rae and tries to take over her head.

Raven actually looks afraid.

She tells you and Cyborg to run, but neither of you do. You're totally freaked out, and the thought that you could get stuck in Nevermore forever _really_ is not helping—but there's _no way_ you're leaving Raven. She's your friend, you like her, and someday, you'll find a way to show her that without causing property damage.

For now, it's good enough that you're around to catch her when she falls.

"You stayed?" Raven's voice is confused and small in a way that kind of makes you want to hug her. "But…I thought you didn't like me."

"Thought _you_ didn't like _me_," you reply, and this time, it's your hand on her shoulder. Surprisingly, she doesn't shrug you off. She actually…looks okay with it.

And as you watch her take Big Red down, you think maybe you and Raven'll be okay, too.

Later, when the day is saved, and Raven agrees to have breakfast-for-dinner with you and Cy and calls you a friend and even _smiles_ at you—yeah. You know you'll both be okay.


End file.
